Before I inevitably embark on a million tangents, let me get some work-related announcements out of the way. I just posted a new “Music Is My Boyfriend” column on YourItList.com. This month, it’s about the drool-worthy loveliness of actress/singer combo-packs like Zooey Deschanel, Jenny Lewis and Scarlett Johansson. As much as I want to hate them for being illegally beautiful and stupidly talented, I simply can’t. One listen to the new She & Him album, for example, and I turn into a puddle of Zooey-loving goo. Blerg!

When I’m not scribbling about ScarJo & Co., I’ve been busy with two very special writing projects:

1.) I spent much of the last six weeks blogging for the amazing peeps over at MTV Buzzworthy. Although my time there was only temporary—because I was filling in for the lovely and sassy Tamar while she got married and stuff—I had a total blast! Working for MTV (in any capacity) has been a complete dream come true and something that I’ve dreamt of since I was 11, sneaking episodes of Just Say Julie in the living room while my mom cooked dinner in the kitchen. (In case you don’t know the show, NO 11-year-old should watch it. I wonder if that’s why I turned out the way I did… Hmmm…) Good news, though! I’ll be back on Bieber watch next week while Tamar attends another wedding (though, this time, not her own). I’m stoked!

2.) Now that the ink is FINALLY dry on the contracts, I’m absolutely tickled to announce that I’m currently working on my third book! (Cue applause, fireworks and cannons exploding.) I can’t spill too much about it but it’s going to be somewhat of a departure from my last two offerings. First of all, I’m going 100% solo on this one. Secondly, it’s going to be less about music (although there is a music chapter hidden in there somewhere) and more about different facets of pop-culture pertaining to a specific group of underdogs. Third, it’s primarily written for all my sisters-from-another-misters out there. I don’t want to alienate all my bros, of course, but my lady loves are totally going to eat this poop up—at least that’s the goal! Stay tuned because I’m actually going to need your help with this book. I’ll explain later. Swears!

Plus, don’t forget to check out my daily posts on MTV’s Buzzworthy Blog. By the end of my run, I just know I’m going to be besties with Justin Bieber. (Fingers crossed!)

Hypothetical-yet-completely-possible conversational reinactment:

Me: “Hey, Jason! I’ve seen the future of music and it’s all about a lil’ punim named Chris Carrabba!”

Jason: [Growl.]*

Me: “No, really! I saw him play with his band Dashboard Confessional a couple weeks ago at the Beachland Ballroom and the place was packed. Plus, all the kids were singing along. It was like Children Of The Corn—but in a good way.”

Jason: [Annoyed snort.]

Me: “C’mon… I can do this! Let me do this!”

Jason: [Snarl.]

Me: “Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it. Lemme write it.”

Jason: “Fine.”

And… Scene.

(Note to future journalists: Never give up when you believe in your pitch! Just make sure your pitch is on-the-money.)

I remember Jason let me borrow his office for the interview and I sat perched on a wobbly stool—which, if I’m not mistaken, Jason still uses to this day—and waited for Chris to call from his Florida HQ. He had just stopped teaching full-time but had gone back to school to visit his former students for a holiday pageant or something. (Swoon, right?) I had what felt like a million butterflies swirling around my stomach and about 30 seconds into the interview, I knew the convo would change the course of my professional life. It sounds hokey, but I just knew in my gut that Dashboard Confessional was on the verge of exploding and I was about to capture the swell before the storm.

I’ve been lucky enough to talk to Chris a bunch over the years and the two of us have even become bros, which still causes me to pinch myself on a regular basis. Now, any good writer knows that you shouldn’t write for anyone else but you—not your editor, not your audience and especially not your subject. I try to live by that guideline as much as humanly possible but I have to admit, I squealed just a smidge when I got the following text from the beau of the boulevard:

Here’s the interview Chris is talking about. Let me know if you agree!

* Oh, it should also be noted that despite the above depiction, Jason has always been my biggest cheerleader. He’s been a mentor, a bestie and a constant source of wisdom and unfathomable humor. So what’s with the ‘tude? Oh, he just hates “pussy emo music.” For a man raised on Revolting Cocks, can you blame him?

First things first, it’s about time that I announced the winner of my third Les Simes booktastic prize pack. If ya’ll remember, I asked you all to put your literary thinking caps on and tell me if you could have any author—alive or dead—write the story of your life, who would it be and why? Your answers were all completely brilliant but there can only be one winner. That said, I have to give big ups to Stephanie for choosing Dorothy Parker, a sassy broad after my own heart. Here’s Stephanie’s full answer:

Dorothy Parker, because everything in my life would be 120% wittier and more cynical as well as amusing if she wrote it. After her death, her ashes were kept in her lawyer’s filing cabinet for over 11 years, something I’m sure Dorothy would have found pretty typical of her life. It was those kinds of “good grief” moments that made her snappy and fresh. I’m fairly certain that I was born into the wrong era, and I think Dottie would be able to craft my life story so that I would be able to see what it would have been like if I had landed in the 1920s. And she was a screenwriter, so she could write the movie, too. Although, I’m not sure how far she’d get because she’d probably need to stop a lot to go out for martinis. (What I wouldn’t give for the chance to go back in time and have a drink with that woman!)

Everyone give Stephanie a round of applause!! I  can’t tell you how amazing it is that people are really using their imagination and creativity to come up with crazy-intelligent answers to my questions. It makes me smile from ear to ear. I’m definitely going to keep the contests coming. In fact, my goal is to reach 1,000 Twitter followers by January 1, 2010. Eek! I’m super-nervous about it but I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Plus, when I hit 1,000, I’m going to give away the motherload of booktastic prize packs. You don’t even know! In other words, stay tuned and keep retweeting to win!!

Let’s see… What else have I been doing? Ooooooh! Last week was the best because I went to the opening day of the Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary exhibit in Culver City. For anyone who’s met me, I am completely OBSESSED with Sanrio, Tokidoki, Kid Robot and a lot of other toy stuff that I’m probably too old to admit I love. Needless to say, I was in Kitty heaven. The exhibit is open until November 15 so if you’re in the neighborhood, you should most def hoof it over. For those who are not close to the hood, check out these pictures that I snapped:

This week has been a complete blur. I’ve been toiling over the bio for Motion City Soundtrack’s new album My Dinosaur Life, which comes out January 2010. The album is beyond incredible so it was a really daunting task to scribble up something that lived up to their musical and lyrical brilliance. I hope I came close! I also caught up with the lovely Mr. Chris Carrabba to talk about the new Dashboard Confessional album, Alter The Ending, which comes out November 10, 2010, which is just around the corner. Little known fact: Chris is one of the funniest dudes, like, ever! He comes off all cool and tattooed and baby-pomped but don’t be fooled. Homeboy is a cut-up. I’ll be sure to post the link to the Q&A when it’s up on Metromix. Finally, somewhere in the midst of interviewing, transcribing, writing, napping and snacking, I also managed to snag a front-row spot at Jimmy Kimmel Live to support the insanely talented Chantal Claret and Morningwood. If you squint, you can almost make me out shaking my money-maker. (Warning: You’ve gotta squint really hard to see me. Like, reeeeeeeeally hard. But I swear I was there. In other words, people with astigmatism probably shouldn’t watch this clip.)

Geez, I’m pooped just thinking back on it all. Translation: Time to hit the snooze cruise! However, before I grab my eyemask and turn on the humidifier, be sure to follow me on Twitter!! What are you waiting for?

Howev, there can only be one winner and the lucky recipient of a Les Simes booktastic prize pack is… “If Only Duct Tape Could Fix Everything” by The Movielife off The Movielife Have A Gambling Problem EP, which was submitted by the lovely Cand. Congrats, Cand! Not only do you have super-fantastic taste in music (and books!!) but I love that you’re rocking your wild style in Cleveland, Ohio, which happens to be my former stomping ground. Big ups on all fronts!!

Oh, and if you aren’t already familiar with this particular Movielife song, get into it!!

1. I had no idea they still made Cribs.

2. Doth my eyes deceive me or is that my literary awesomeness I see on the screen??? Okay, technically speaking, it’s a snipe of the first AAR cover for Alternative Press but I wrote it so, by the transitive property, I WAS TOTALLY ON CRIBS TODAY!! See for yourself…

BAM! Right side of the screen!!

BLOOP! Left side of the screen!

BING!! Hiding on the left side of the screen!!

Back in my old Cleveland apartment, I even had the same poster displayed in my office-slash-dining area. (Man, do I miss that place. Best. Apartment. Ever.) Lookie…

BAH-ZING!! Great interior decorators thing alike.

Thanks, Nick Wheeler, for totes making my day!!

I’m feverishly trying to do a million-and-a-half different things before I get on a jetplane tomorrow and fly to St. Louis, where I’ll be meeting up with Paramore on Wednesday. Eek!! I feel like I’m really breaking out of the retirement home for this piece because I haven’t written anything like it in what seems like a coon’s age. Truth be told, I’m nervous. There… I said it. In fact, I’m nervous, excited, anxious and eager. Howev, most of all, I’m looking forward to a juicy dish sesh with Hayley & Co.

(Fingers crossed!)

Be sure to add me on Twitter—in case you’re not already doing so—because I’m sure I’ll be unloading all sorts of finger-lickin’-good deets when I’m on the road. Get into it!!

Also, if you aren’t already following me on Twitter, GET WITH THE PROGRAM!! You can find me at http://www.twitter.com/redpatterndress. I’m leaving next week to spend some QT with this really small, unknown band. You prolly haven’t heard of them. They’re called Paramore and I think they’re gonna be HUGE one day. I’ll be hanging with them for a couple days so you won’t want to miss a moment!